“Thank you for calling FedEx, George speaking. How may I help you?”
- Trained to speak with a UK accent.
- Moved to the Trace & Track team after 6 months.
- Cleared parcels through customs with FedEx teams worldwide.
- Duration
- 2y
George was my name on call-centre lines for FedEx, Vodafone and Telstra. In 2015 I hung up and started writing code. I haven’t stopped since.
Line open: taking calls for senior backend roles. Remote or relocation.
Eleven years of Laravel since: multi-tenant SaaS, SSO and MFA, Zend and Drupal migrations, and pipelines that chew through millions of rows. Led remote teams; happiest owning a backend end to end.
It’s ringing. Press ANSWER, or any key.
// before: every row loaded at once → out of memory
$rows = Widget::where('report_id', $id)->get();
// after: one row in memory at a time
foreach (Widget::where('report_id', $id)->cursor() as $row) {
yield transform($row);
}Side projects I build on my own time, to try ideas end to end: product, backend, integrations and all.
A survey tool that lives inside WhatsApp: no app, no login. I built it around a call-centre lesson: people answer when it’s easy. Stores collect feedback at checkout and reward replies with coupons.
My playground for AI agents: a sales assistant where Scout researches leads, Harvey writes email and LinkedIn sequences, and Muse drafts social posts.
Multi-factor auth added to a live login system for Fortune 500 clients.
Legacy analytics platform moved piece by piece while customers kept using it.
Company CRM rewritten, database switched. 30% faster responses.
Please listen carefully, as the menu options have changed.